Take me to (insert any concert or festival here) so I know it’s real
Ten days until my swimsuits come in ahhhh
I just want a hot guy with a neck tattoo
it has been three days since my infiltration into the nest
they do not suspect a thing
(via hair-ballz)
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
(via hair-ballz)
yea i have a real girlfriend. her names… mysterious. mysterious blood pyramid. she goes to a different school
(via everytimeidiabetes)
you’re not allowed to wear a cotton t-shirt unless you’re a true fan! do you go to the fields and look at it? do you appreciate the agricultural implications of a gigantic cotton industry? do you understand the harvesting process? name 5 cotton harvesting machines. didn’t think so
(via griffleberry)
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
(via fatblackpeople)
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
(via fatblackpeople)
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
(via in--bloom)
oh sweet jesus
oh sour jesus
oh BBQ jesus
oh cool ranch jesus
oh doritos locos tacos jesus
(via geoduuuuude)
